Heart Check

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?”

Jeremiah 17:9 NLT

“Fire tests the purity of silver and gold, but the Lord tests the heart.”

Proverbs 17:3 NLT

Has someone ever asked you a what if question and you thought you knew the answer? Like, you definitely knew what you would do and how you would react? Well, this weekend, that what if question came to life, for me. I must be candid. I really thought about not sharing this because I am embarrassed, but I believe that we can be freed through honesty.

Well, as you all know, we just celebrated the resurrection of Jesus. Many only know easter for dressing up and going to church. Well, a few weeks ago, I found out that I could wear whatever I wanted to for easter. This was a big deal for my serve team, at church, because we usually have a specific dress code. I picked out a dress (I don’t usually do) and even had it coordinated with the rest of my serve team. We were ready! Well, on the Thursday before easter, we got a text message from our team leader letting us know that we may have to wear t-shirts instead. At first, I was upset, but then I convinced myself that it wasn’t about the dressing up and that I would be okay either way. *Deep down, I didn’t really think we would have to wear the shirts.* Well, the Lord really knew my heart, which is why on Saturday, I got the message that we would indeed have to wear those t-shirts!

When I tell y’all I was upset! I had so many questions… like, who else had to wear the t-shirts? Why did we have to wear the t-shirts? Why couldn’t we wear what we wanted?

I know, it seems petty, but God really had to deal with me on this! All the while, I thought my heart was in the right place. I thought I knew that easter wasn’t about all that extra stuff, but I didn’t and God knew it! He put my heart to the test! All night before easter, i went back and forth in my head. God really had to speak to my heart. He did this by reminding me that easter was not some fashion show. We were there to celebrate the fact that Jesus conquered death! The glory was God’s, not mine or anyone else’s.

Well, that next morning, I woke up and I still felt some type of way. So, I worshipped and thanked God for who He was and what He did for us. I put on clothes that were not my dress and headed to church. Once I got there and put on the shirt, I still felt a little bitter. I felt like my patience was being tried left and right! Then, my teammates arrived and they began to put on their shirts too. We looked at each other and began to laugh and joke about it. We had our outfits all planned out and here we were with nothing we had planned. But God had a plan! It was in those moments of laughter that I was okay! It was with my second family that I realized it really wasn’t that serious! I couldn’t believe I’d been so upset about something that really wasn’t about me! Because Jesus died for me, I have new life along with a family of believers that care for me.

Today, I’m thankful I HAD to wear that shirt! God showed me something about myself and he dealt with me swiftly. I want to always be in position for God to do that. I don’t ever want to take advantage of the fact that God loves me enough to tell me about myself. Even when I don’t understand things, I must realize that everything is for my good!

Happy Monday!