Psalms 46:10- “Be still, and know that I am God.”
Over 10 years ago, I began my search for purpose. Five years ago, I was deep in the rabbit hole. Two years ago, I gave my life to Christ and got my footing back. Ever since then, I have been running. But to where?
Tired, Rejected, not good enough, weary in well doing, lost in purpose…
These are all feelings and thoughts that the enemy loaded into a metal storm gun and fired at me this week. To be honest, I should have saw it coming. After all, I am at war…and I was an easy target.
What happens when God tells you to be still? The wait is not bad in the beginning. But what if the wait is longer than you expected? What happens when you’re in church every Sunday, not because of religion, but because you love God and his people? What happens when you give your all in serving? What happens when you spend months and even years in his word? What happens when you find yourself at his feet every day praying, blessing his name, praising, worshippnig…pleading? What happens when you go into the world and it humbles you every day, but you endure with a good attitude because God told you to be still and wait? What happens when you do all these things and GOD DOESN’T SAY A WORD?
Well, these past couple of weeks, I am not ashamed to say, I got tired…
1 Peter 5:8- “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.
Do you know how a lion attacks its prey? I don’t know why, but one time, I was obsessed with watching lion documentaries on YouTube. Let me give you a few pointers on how a lion (enemy) attacks
- They peep and study their prey from a distance- They don’t just go in for the kill. They watch, observe patterns and wait for the perfect opportunity. If they just jump out there, the prey would hear and see them coming. Isn’t this like or adversary. He saw you get saved, he let you have your lil party. He let you walk it out for a while, unbothered. But he also knows that we are human and that we can get distracted. He waits until that perfect opportunity or that perfect distraction and then he comes out of nowhere! He was really there all along, just like the lion.
- They attack the weakest link- Sometimes, the lion will watch a herd of animals. It would be hard to attack the whole herd, but because the lion is crafty, it has observed. It sees the weakest, the one who gets hurt or the one who gets tired. At the right time, the enemy will go for that one. Think about the church. The enemy can come against the church, but it would be hard because there are many members. But just because you are amongst a group of people, doesn’t mean that he hasn’t peeped those weaknesses. He waits for you start dragging a bit and then, he shoots his shot.
- They hunt better at night- The lion can see a lot better in the dark. This is actually their best hunting time. They often wait until it’s dark and then they attack the prey that can’t see as great. When we get into those dark spaces, we begin to rely on what we can see. If we continue to rely on our own vision, the attack won’t be difficult.
So, knowing all of this, I still fell victim. I still got tired…but let me tell you something….God may not be there when you want him, but he’ll be there right on time! This may sound cliché, but clichés are just clichés until the situation is fitting. Today, the spirit of rejection and not feeling good enough hit me hard. As I was riding down the road, a friend checked on me. I immediately knew it was God pulling me out. This friend shared wisdom that I would like to share.
“God knows and cares about what you are going through. He chooses to be quiet so that you would learn to trust him in quiet times as much as you do when he is speaking.”
That was a word! It immediately brought tears to my eyes…. that I had to pretend were not there because my kickball team would probably never invite me back if they thought I was that stressed about the game lol.
I know many of you may get to this same place. I want you to believe what my friend told me. Choose to believe God. He will strengthen you. He will give you victory. I still know that I have a purpose and no, I don’t know exactly what it is. But I believe God will reveal it in due season! I’m training right now and so are you. In the meantime, don’t make yourself an easy target. Give the adversary hell…it’s already his anyway. When the right time comes, God will speak and it will be glorious!
Happy Monday! Make it a great week!