Seek and Find

For almost 2 1/2 years, I prayed the same prayer. I remember the first day that I began to pray it. It was the day that I got saved. When I learned that God had a plan and purpose for my life, I knew I had to figure some things out. So, my prayer was, “God, show me my purpose.”

As I prayed, months went by and I still didn’t know my purpose. I didn’t think much of it because I was a baby Christian and God was still working some the “Egypt” out of me. As the months went by, I soon hit a year and then a year and a half and I still didn’t know my purpose. At this point, I began to get a little nervous. I saw people joining the church and falling right into place and there I was, just serving everywhere with no sight of my purpose. At one point, I was on about 5 different serve teams. Don’t get me wrong, I love to serve, but in all honesty, I was trying to see where I fit in.

My prayers became more intense. I even remember hearing someone say if we’d been in the church for a year, we should know our purpose/call. I was terrified. Was I not in a genuine relationship with Christ? Were my prayers just hitting the ceiling? Was my effort in vain? These were all questions that plagued my mind.

Another half year went by. Still no sign of my purpose. Others said they saw it, but I was as blind as a bat to it. It wasn’t until my pastor preached one Sunday about “staying in the tent,” that I had a bit of revelation. To me, staying in the tent meant, getting in a place alone with God and staying there until he gave the word. If you come out too fast, you might not get all of the information. I had been asking God to reveal something to me, but I wasn’t staying in the tent about it.

Long story short, I got in the tent. Months continued to go by, but I wasn’t leaving until God gave me the word. I sought after him, I read his word, I worshipped him, I enjoyed his company. Then, BOOM, at the end of last year, God helped me piece it together! Earlier that year, God told me he would give me a voice, but I ran out of the tent before he could tell me in what capacity. Then I was too focused on that one piece of information to focus on God. But not this time, I was going to focus on God. Which brings me into this year.

On Wednesday, January 9th, 2019, after much time spent in the tent, God revealed to me my purpose and call! It’s like I had been playing the longest game of hide and seek. But God heard me every step of the way. I think he wanted to know how hard I would seek him. He wanted to know how far I would go and how patient I would be in waiting on him. Although this moment is monumental for me, I know it’s only the beginning. For a minute, that scared me, but I know that wherever I end up in life, God will always respond to a hungry heart for him.

“Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” Matthew 7:7 NLT